Monday, March 12th, 2001: Talk about a weekend! Whoa! I could hardly contain all my excitement from it. It was so good that I had to document it here.
What was so special about it? Well nothing. If you've read all my previous entries, you'd know by now just how boring I am, yet bad things seem to happen to me, this weekend was no exception.
Let's set the scene...it's the wee hours of Sunday morning when I half woke up and noticed something was in my mouth, aside from my tongue and teeth that is. I reached in and pulled it out, put it on my shelf and went back to sleep. I wasn't worried that it was some sort of bug or anything like that because that's not something I've ever thought about before and there's no reason to think that now, especially when it was something hard. My initial thought was a raspberry seed or something that got stuck in my teeth from yogurt or something, though that doesn't make much sense since I didn't eat any yogurt the day before. But anyways, I left it on my shelf and went back to sleep.
I woke up Sunday morning, did my morning routine and then decided to check out what the offending object was. It was cone shaped and shiny. I thought "do I have too much iron in my body that I'm now producing it?" I realized after that it was a filling that had fallen out. UGH!
I don't like heading to the dentist like everyone else in this world, especially when you know they're going to do a little drilling to clean out the cavity, so I tried to put it out of my mind. What was I thinking? The tooth fairy going to come that night and repair it for me? I am such a sissy, but if you call me that, watch your back!
Anyways, there wasn't much I could do about it that day since it was Sunday, so I called them today to let them know I needed some work done. At first they couldn't find my file because it had been a while since I was last there so they offered me a date which was a week Thursday. I didn't like that too much because it's too far away but accepted it as I didn't have much choice. 10 minutes later, they called back to let me know they have an earlier appointment available and wondered if I wanted that instead. I took it so now I've got a date with my lovely dentist (a man by the way so don't you start thinking things there!) for tomorrow at 3:45PM. I guess they found my records and saw that I was a long time patient and probably a preferred customer. Not the kind of customer that wants to see them much but you have to do what you have to do, right?
So, I thought about the procedure and decided to cover my bases should something happen to me. You never hear about cases where filling procedures go horribly wrong and ends up in tragedy, so bear with me for a little bit. Below are some personal items I want others to have should the worst happen...
To my brother, I leave my paperclip collection, my stamp collection and my floppy disks/cds/magazines of porn
To my mom, I leave all my videotapes so she can tape the Y&R for me to watch when the day comes when the world blows up and everyone joins me...wherever that is. In case you didn't know the world was going to blow up, read about it in your bible under the book of Revelations
To my dad, I leave my teddy bear collection. You know dads and fuzzy things!
To my Mandy, I leave my Cadbury Creme Eggs, my cactus' (we know the history of your own so don't let the past repeat itself), my socks that have holes (pretend it's a new cross stitching project), my Metallica cd/video collection because I know how much you love them and my tools since you've become a little Bob Vila ever since that table you built
To Rachel, not my candle collection because you have quite the collection yourself, but I leave you my gallons of nitroglycerine, should you need a little spark to get your candles going
To Mrs. K, I leave my cat repellent formula I just completed. It might still need some work because it seems to repel every living creature due to the foul odour, but you can work on it in your spare time. Just think how much you could save on cat food when you don't have to feed cats that aren't your own!
To big J, I leave my rocket launcher. That way you can design your own satellite system and launch it without anyone ever knowing and get a zillion tv stations...all for FREE!
To my neighbour, I leave $500 in cash. So there's no need to break into my house should you get that itch to steal once again
To my neighbour across the street...screw you! You get nada, zip, zilch, the big donut! (just had to toss that in there)
And last, but not least, I hand over the reigns to my minions. I've taught you well...now it's time you go off on your own and make me proud!
Should I live though, I do not want anyone mentioned above to try to bump me off just so they can get their grubby little hands on their goodies! And it would be nice if your thoughts and prayers were with me as I make my trip to the dentist. We can start now...take the hand of the person beside you...bow your heads and repeat after me...our Father, who art in heaven...hallowed be thy name...