Dear Great Pumpkin,

This is your friend, Kreature, writing to you. I know it's been a long time since I last wrote to you, but I'm hoping you can forgive me.
I come in peace...not asking for much, just a few things. I've always held out hope you'd bring me that Tonka truck when I was 8 years old, but seeing how much time has passed, I don't think I want it anymore...nor do I want that poster of Tiffany or that box of Pro Stars cereal, you know, the one with Wayne Gretzky on the box? I think I've outgrown those items, though I have a few new things I'd like to request from you...without delivery charges of course! Oh, and I'd appreciate it if you could take care of Customs for me...they're a b**ch to handle.

I always pictured you to be this giant orange blob (no offence to your gourdy body), that was unable to fly through the sky, being guided by your 8 ghosts, dropping presents to all the little boys and girls, even a few grown ups, along the way. But it dawned on me...not a whole lot of people know about you, so flying through the sky would be too obvious! So this is what I think you look I close?

Well, in any case, I'm laying out a few ground rules this year. The one year you did show up, without my gifts mind you, you totally trashed the place! I had a dilly of a time trying to explain all the pumpkin seeds on the floor and the pumpkin mess you left beside my tv!

Rule drinking of any kind is allowed in my house. That includes everything from milk to booze.

Rule bringing female pumpkins with you! I swear, it looked like either a pumpkin orgy or a pumpkin patch. Bringing human females would be acceptable though, just don't mention it to anyone who's name begins with an "A"

Rule #3...bring your own sheets! Pumpkin stains suck and are hard to get out! And when I mean sheets, I don't mean bringing a hoard of these things...

Rule #4... cats are acceptable for a gift this time around. I've been broken in when it comes to cats, so as long as they're cute, it's a go. If they look like something that's been through a washer, forget it! And please, no cats that don't have fur. Those are scary!
And no tigers or lions or cheetahs or anything that can be found on the plains of Africa. And let's not speak of the panther incident, ok?

If you're planning to spend the night, then Rule #5 is for you...
Rule #5...bring your own bed! The orange stains left in my sheets were hard enough to explain. You have no idea how hard it is to convince my mom those stains were pumpkin and not something else!

I think that's all the rules for now.
Now for the good part, my wish list! Please remember, they aren't in any particular order, so feel free to get any or all on my list!

* Porche Boxter

* the Stanley Cup

* my own country (preferably somewhere warm)

* non-mad cow diseased beef

* my own tv show

* Britney Spears (just to bug someone!)

* $40 Billion in cash, or Microsoft Corp.

That's the end of the new additions. All of the past entries on my list are still valid and you should feel free to get me those items as well. Incase you misplaced my list, I've included it below.

* Sarah Michelle Gellar (she no longer has meat on her bones...looks like a skeleton. Sounds like she's something right up your alley!)

* etch-a-sketch (you took too long to get me one, so I got one myself)

* a genuine George Bell bat (remember him? It's only been 15 years since I requested this!)

* a rubber duck

* KITT from Knight Rider (remember him? The Knight Industries Two Thousand?)

* tickets to opening night at SkyDome (kinda late for that now, eh? 1989 has passed by a little bit, don't ya think?)

* a guest appearance on ALF, so I can meet Andrea (I don't think the show is on anymore)

* a grade of 90% or better on my history essay (considering this was from 6th grade, it's out of date now, so forget it)

* Miss Burko (she was hot...way back when I first met her, and considering it was years ago, it's a good bet she's now a Mrs...*sigh*)

* an advance copy of Appetite for Destruction (I think the album is about 13 years old now, so there is no "advance" anymore)

* strawberry shortcake (this request was made some 16 years ago, but you know what? It sounds good to me now!)

* socks (ok, I don't know why I asked for this, but it's too lame now, so I'll pass)

* love letters from a girl

Well that's just the first page I found when I went digging through all my old stuff. If I find the rest, before Halloween 2001, I'll add it here. If not, it'll be around for the next year...I just hope you are around too, ok Great Pumpkin???