Monday, October 15th, 2001: *yawn*...hmmm? What? I'm on? Ohh! Errrr....ummm...hi everyone! Welcome back to the diary. In today's episode, we'll discuss the pros and cons of...what? We're not doing a what? This is not a tv show? Then what the hell am I doing here? Why did you wake me up then? You're all a bunch of *#)(%&#.
So anyways, hello people, once again! You have no idea how the people behind the scenes here get on my nerves! First, they turn on the cameras and catch me right in the middle of a yawn, how embarrassing! I just hope Bob Saget doesn't get a hold of that one!

Ok OK, down to serious business here. Well, nothing is ever really serious here, but just go along with me for a change.
Today's topic deals with Taliban members and my solution to this problem we're all having with them. Not only did we have a scare right here in my town, yet again, this one involved that bad...bad...bad anthrax.
There was a discovery of mysterious powder packages bundled with newspapers and other junk mail outside of a Canada Post sorting/distributing building just 5-10 minutes away from my home. I personally didn't get scared or anything as I didn't even know about it until later this afternoon, and didn't get alarmed once I did know, but still. Turns out to be nothing but powder used in the newspaper making process that was accidentally packaged with the newspapers.
That got me to thinking...here's what I came up with:

We're always concerned about crime in our respective countries, well before this terrorism stuff began, so why not turn that to our advantage? Businesses have been scared for years about the mob and local gangs and biker gangs and stuff...why don't they turn their efforts towards finding that Osucka guy?
The mob bosses always boast about how powerful they are and that you can't hide from them, especially if they want you. So why don't they do us all a favour and sniff out that Osucka guy for us?
All those local punk gangs in LA and NY and Philly and every other city in the world change their tunes and offer to take out terrorists in Af-crappa-stan?
Why don't the Hell's Angels and any other biker gang go terrorize those harbouring terrorists in that rubble country?

Hmmm?

Hello?

Anyone listening?

Don Corleone?

Anybody?

Is this mic on?

Testing...1-2-3?

Ah well, just some thinking I was doing today.

Sorta sticking with that topic, just within the last week and a half, both hard drives crashed on my other computer. What's up with that? One is 3 years old and the other is 2 years old. Doesn't anyone make quality products anymore?
I did some deep thinking into this and realized something...this crashing happened after the September 11th incidents...the FBI recently warned of more terroristic acts in the days to come...here I am, suffering 2 hard drive crashes around this time...coincidence? Plane crash...hard drive crash? See where I'm going with this?
Those stinkin' terrorists destroyed my computer!
How dare they turn their anger on me!
I'm 2 seconds away from firing off a very angry letter to the Taliban leaders, namely Osucka. Maybe I'll even throw in a little dusting of anthrax with it! Heck, just point me to him and I'll personally go anthrax on his ass! Yeah! You heard me! I'll even shave off that goat beard you sport and rip that towel off your head and snap it at your ass, like those bad bullies do in locker rooms and stuff! That'll teach you to mess with the Kreature!

For those of you thinking I'll get flame mail over those comments, think again. I don't get email much anymore, so flame mail is more than welcomed! I dare you to flame me! If I think you've flamed me too much and burned my little tush, I'll give you credit for it and post an excerpt of your email right here for everyone to see! You can't beat that now, can you?

Ah, who am I kidding, no one will even try =(

But that won't stop me. I've got more rants to get off my chest.

Next up...my whiteboard.

I bought one today, opened it up and found it to suck, in the most severe way! The glue that holds the border in place was all over the place. All along each side of the board...all over the back...everywhere!
No matter where you held it, you'd feel your fingers sticking to the board. I tried to clean it up, doing so much stuff, including using nail polish remover to clean it up, but nothing worked. I tried writing on the board and erasing it, but that only left the dark dusting ink to cluster all over the sticky parts, leaving black, splotchy marks all over the freakin' board. Not good...NOT GOOD! Not to mention my fingers smell like nail polish remover...ugh.
I'm taking it back tomorrow.

Want more of my bad day? How about having an underground transformer station blow up in the heart of the city, in the middle of the day, knocking out power to a number of blocks and buildings in the area, including the subway stations! What does that mean? I'll tell you what it means! It meant that I had to wait for shuttle buses to take the throngs of people to where they want to go...delays, delays, delays...yeah.

I'm fed up.

Calgon...take me away!

On a scale of 1-10, I'd say today ranks as a -9.

The only positives about today happened to be my phone call to Maxtor, the makers of my hard drive. They said they'd ship me a new drive within 2-5 days and that I can take the old one to this service place they have, which turns out to be 10 minutes away from my home (woohoo!), and they'll ship it back to headquarters.

One thing on my list of things to do for tomorrow is to see if my pictures have come back from developing. I got lucky the last time by getting it a day earlier, so maybe my luck will hold out this time around.

Other than that, I don't plan on missing Buffy for a second straight week on it's normal airing time!
Hope you all had a better day than I did today.
I'll leave you with this final thought, brought to my attention by my girl a few days ago...peace out everyone!

There once was a man named Osama
Who suffered a great trauma
His father said, "son,
I screw camels for fun
And you really resemble your mama"